The Inner Ear Infection

Hi, I’m still here.

Last year just about this time, I came down with an inner ear infection. If you’ve had one, you know what I’m talking about. It’s kind of like a party without the alcohol. Your head swims when you stand up and your body doesn’t.

It arrived again on Monday afternoon right about 2:00pm. A little after the Fed-Ex guy would have been here, but before the UPS guy gets here. I’m not sure who brought it, but when I do find out, he’s toast.

I think it’s a conspiracy to keep me from the Trout Pond just when they are stocking the hell out of it. In fact, I already had the truck loaded with the Float Tube Cumberland and all my gear for a Tuesday launch at the pond.

This is where the problem comes in. You see, with an inner ear infection, you have to be really careful how you move. Quick turns of the head put you flat on the floor. Your mind is goes left and your body goes right. Most times you have to have a three point stance. That being, both feet on the floor and one hand holding something solid. Most things work. A table, kitchen counter, dresser if you’re in the bedroom, or a cane. Last night, in the dark, I found out that the VCR on top of the TV, downstairs, was not one of the things that works well. Scratch one VCR. About all you can do is hang out at the house and hope that one of the things you use for the third point isn’t the wood stove.

These things last about a week. There is nothing you can do except let it pass. While it’s passing, you are OK sitting in the truck and probably driving (you notice I said probably), but as soon as you have to get out, the wobble returns. Weebles wobble, so do you. If you've had kids, you know about Weebles. If you would manage to get past the police driving somewhere, once you get out of the truck, everyone is looking at you, as you wobble into where ever you are, and thinking “poor guy must have had a stroke” and they get all sympathetic and want to hold the door for you, stop cars and trains so you can pass, and stuff like that. So it’s best just to stay home.

Which brings me back to fishing. I think I could have gotten to the Trout Pond, launched the float tube, but probably would have flippered around in circles. Wouldn’t have been a good showing for the Shoreman. Had I fished from the shore, it would have been a little hard to reel in a fish with one hand on the cane and the other on the rod. I sure as hell wouldn’t give the rod to someone else to reel in a two pound Rainbow. I know there are probably alternatives like sitting in a chair, leaning against the rock wall, or getting one of those things the people on the Rose Bowl Floats use to stand up, but you have to draw the line somewhere.

So I guess I’ll stay home for a few more days and read your blogs, drooling at the trout you guys are catching and the fun you all are having.

I will be back shortly. My friend Rich and his son Mark were at the pond yesterday. Rich caught one 2 ½ pounds. Mark, on the other hand, caught one 5.2 pounds. Rich on the shore, Mark in a float tube. Here I sit missing all the fun.

Till next time.

Mark