Wednesday, October 30, 2013


I've been forwarding jokes to a distribution group for some time now. Unfortunately with my current email carrier it's becoming increasingly difficult to get them to forward. My average is about 1 in 4 that go through.

To circumvent that, I thought I'd use them to fill in space where I don't have a fishing post and then everybody can enjoy them.

Now I want to let you know upfront that I only forward them I do not create them. Some are not so politically correct so if someone gets offended, I apologize in advance.

I'll try to keep them as clean as possible. You can also let me know what you think in the comments section.

Here's the first one:

Humour for smart people

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,  subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Glibido: All talk and no action.

9. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

10. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

11. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

12. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men



  1. Mark I've always enjoyed the jokes you've sent to me. I'll just settle back and enjoy them here.